In Memoriam: Bruce McCroskey

1948 – 2004

It began with a worrisome message from my nephew David. His father, my brother, had chest pains and was going to the hospital to be checked.

Bruce never reached the hospital. For my brother’s family the tragedy that occurred early in the morning of May 29th will weigh heavily on their hearts and minds for years to come. For me, the loss of a second brother in just over a year is almost too difficult to comprehend.

But comprehend we must, just as we trust in the Lord to watch over them.

For my brother…

 was born twelve years after my brother Bruce. Our mother liked to say that his name was one of the first words I spoke. Everyone knew that he was her favorite.

When I was three he taught me to swim.

When I was six he came to my school to pick me up and take me to lunch like a grown-up. On his motorcycle. He believed in behaving lawfully and exhibiting courtesy and respect for others, but he was not above a bit of joyful silliness in the celebration of life.

A couple years later he crashed the same motorcycle in the Cajon pass. Our father drove into the mountains in the middle of the night to bring him, and the bike, back home. Bruce learned about being a parent from our father Mac and mother Sue. There was nothing he would not do for his children.

In the spring of 1969, Bruce was at the Naval Academy when our father died. Our mother delayed telling him for a day so that he could finish his final exams. I don’t know if Bruce resented her decision not to tell him immediately, but the message – that his father would have wanted him to do well – was clear, and Bruce took it to heart.

In the ensuing years our lives took different directions: Bruce met Linda, the love of his life, and they were married. He was accepted into the nuclear submarine service, which he’d wanted to do for as long as I can remember. The Navy transferred him from place to place and he and Linda started their family. I got through high school and college and started my own career.

But in the fall of 1987 fate brought us together again – sort of. By coincidence, at the same time that the Navy sent Bruce and his family back to Virginia Beach, my career took me to New York City. A lifeline formed between our two homes – tenuous at first, but over the years solidifying into a strong family tie.

I who had been the alien – the sole, late-life girl child raised mostly by mom – was accepted into my brother’s family. Although I’ve never lived in Virginia Beach, the drive here from New York City feels like a journey home because my brother is here.

Just over a year ago I sat with my brother in a house in Southern California while he composed words much like these for our older brother David. On that occasion, and when our mother passed in 1996, Bruce was my rock. He was a gentle, powerful presence who seemed to absorb the grief and emanate calming comfort.

Bruce leaves an enormous void in the lives of those who loved him – and there are many. But he also leaves us with his strength of character, his high moral standard, his loving, generous heart, and his wonderfully wry sense of humor. He was always an officer, a gentleman, and a gentle man. I see these traits of his manifested in his children. And I feel his presence in my own heart. Right now he’s giving me a hug and a little chuckle, assuring me that I’ve said enough, I’m embarrassing him.

Maybe now, finally, he and our brother David can play a full eighteen holes of golf together.

Obituary, Bruce Adrian McCroskey

Bruce Adrian McCroskey, 56, of Virginia Beach, VA, passed away on May 29, 2004.

Born January 6, 1948, in Camden, New Jersey, Mr. McCroskey was the son of Adrian Aubrey McCroskey and Dorothy Susan McCroskey.

He is survived by his wife, Linda Fletcher McCroskey; and his children and grandchild: his son and daughter-in-law, David and Renee, and their son Tyler; his son Sean; and his daughter, Meghann. His is also survived by his sister, Mia; and brother, Ralph; and his golden retriever, Maggie. He was preceded in death by his brother, David.

A devoted husband and father, Bruce played an important role in his childrens’ activities, especially in high school and college bands. He was an active “band parent” and constant supporter at concerts and competitions. He served as a youth advisor when his children were in their church youth group. Bruce was also an accomplished microbrewer.

Bruce was employed at Summit Research Corporation as a Senior Data Analyst in charge of the Commander in Chief, U.S. Atlantic Fleet (CINCLANTFLT) Navy Lessons Learned System (NLLS) Management Site. He retired in 1991 after a distinguished twenty-year career in the United States Navy. His service included four years as a Submarine Operations Officer for the Commander in Chief, U.S. Atlantic Fleet and two years as a Operations and Plans Officer with Commander Submarine Group Five. He also served as an Operations Advanced Training Officer, stationed at the Naval Submarine School. He served for ten years aboard nuclear submarines: as Executive Officer on board the USS Cincinnati, as Navigator/Operations/Weapons Officer aboard the USS Tullibee; and as Division Officer aboard the USS Puffer.

A graduate of the United States Naval Academy, Class of 1971, Bruce was also a graduate of Basic Submarine School, Naval Nuclear Power School, and Naval War College. Bruce was graduated from Riverside Polytechnic High School in Riverside, California and attended the University of California, Los Angeles prior to entering the U.S. Naval Academy.

The funeral service was conducted at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church in Virginia Beach on Friday, June 4th at 2:00 p.m. with The Reverend John M. Eidam officiating. The burial will occur at Arlington National Cemetary on August 9th at 9:00 in the morning. Expressions of sympathy in the form of contributions can be made to the American Heart Association.